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Why don't they just listen and do what I ask?

In every healthy relationship communication is key.

Here are my top tips to not only get everyone - partner, children, parents, colleagues, friends - to not only listen to you but also hear what you really mean.


1. Look at me

Always make sure that you get their eye contact before you start speaking. If it is really important ask for the other person to please stop what they are doing and pay attention. If it isnt a good time for them then ask for a time when you can have this conversation.

2. Introduction

Give a clear headline that describes the topic and if you are asking for them to do something in response, make that clear too.

3. Details

Now you can go into all the information that describes how you got to this point, the reasons why you are asking for them to do something

4. Are you still with me?

Check that they understand what you are saying and why you are asking it of them. If they get it then great! if they cannot reflect what you have just said then start from the introduction again, launch into the details but you have to say it differently. Is there other words you can use that they can better relate to? Then check again.

5. How can I help you help me?

What do they think about the request? How seriously are they taking your request? What do they need from you to make this happen? Negotiate from there a time frame to get it done.

6. Thank you

People are busy so always thank them for their time and consideration of your request.

It might feel strange and uncomfortable to go step by step but with practice you will file through these steps with ease and it will become second nature. These steps work for communicating with everyone from your children, partner, friends, mother-in-law....


Here's to a future without miscommunication or misunderstandings!



To explore how to strengthen your ability to communicate effectively book an appointment with our Principal Psychotherapist, Claire.


Claire has over 25 years experience supporting people just like you to be the best parent, partner, person you can be.


Book an appointment today.






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